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Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:46 pm









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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:49 pm









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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:52 pm











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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:56 pm











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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Mon Sep 07, 2015 12:20 am

I'm a medical transcriptionist and there are mountains of doctor and MT blunders and bloopers. Here are just a few...

The patient comes in for a lesion on the penis which has been present on and off for 2 years and seems to be getting smaller.

He does have well-known hemorrhoids.

The patient reports that since she had a colonoscopy, she has noticed some problems with her short term memory.

This is her first period since vaginal delivery of a three month old baby.

Fracture to the proximal phalanx of the right fourth toe on the right fifth foot.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

She has no rigors or chills but her husband says she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.

The patient refused an autopsy.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.


My personal all-time favorite though, is when they are dictating on a woman who has just had a baby. They will usually say something like, "At birth the infant weighed 6 pounds, 9 ounces."

And for some reason, I have a mental block and even though I hear very clearly what he said, what comes out of the tips of my fingers is, "At birth the infant weighed 6 pounds, 9 ouches."

Every. Single. Time.

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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 12:25 am

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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:25 pm

funny translations:

'From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.'

'A laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.'

'On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.'

'A barbershop in Zanzibar, Tanzania: Gentlemen’s throats cut with nice sharp razors.'

http://linguagreca.com/blog/2013/02/funny-mistranslations-world/
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:36 pm

k iirc, i read this many years ago in a Maclean's magazine.. so i dont have a link.. but according to them it was a true story..lol..

'After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.'
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:40 pm




http://justsomething.co/34-hilarious-translation-fails/
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 6:37 pm

I've seen some hilarious examples of translation fails,CC, both here in Brasil and overseas.

Here are a few examples. I was staying in a guest house on Ilha Grande one day and they had kindly made bilingual signs in porkandcheese and English. The sign in the bathroom had me scratching my head. I could understand the porkandcheese easily, but the English was gibberish.
In porkandcheese, it read: Nâo jogue papel no vaso.
In English, it read, no play role in vase.
I could understand why, as many words have more than one translation, but they had used the least commonly used translation. Jogue is the imperative of throw and play. Papel is both paper and role, such is that performed by an actor, vaso is both Vase and toilet bowl.

The signs in the kitchen in this guest house reminded of Silence of the Lambs with such orders as: It throws the waste in the bin and It washes dishes after use.

In a public toilet in Ipanema, I came across this howler.
Ao entrar, favor, fecha a porta.
In English, it read: To log on, please close door.

The Brasilians use the word entrar to mean enter quite literally, but they also use it when they enter a site such as their personal email or Facefuck as well.

Once upon a time, I was in a restaurant in the Italian town of Herculaneum, and their menu had me laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. The menu was bilingual, but someone had obviously just used a dictionary for the English. Two dishes in particular caught my attention. I can't recall the name of the first in Italian, but the English name was Fiddly opening chicken. The second was the classic Italian dish, Spaghetti Puttanesca, which had been translated as Whorish Noodles. I so wanted to take a copy of their menu, but was a laminated A2 size that I couldn't discreetly shove under my shirt.

As an aside, I once asked an Italian about the origin of the name of this dish as I had heard various explanations from it being a common dish served to the whores in brothels, to the subtle smell of anchovies in it. He explained, however, that the term puttanesca also signified something done quickly, without pre-planning and Spaghetti Puttanesca originated from whatever ingredients were at hand simply thrown together.
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:08 pm

Grammar and spelling are also slightly important













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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:19 pm








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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Mon Sep 07, 2015 7:50 pm

I read some of these and have to wonder how some of these people ever made it to adulthood if, in fact, they did.

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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 8:01 pm

You have to remember, Sarah, that the average IQ is around 100. That means that there a billions of people below that level! affraid
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Mon Sep 07, 2015 9:29 pm

Your Mom wrote:You have to remember, Sarah, that the average IQ is around 100. That means that there a billions of people below that level! affraid

My mother used to harp on me all the time about how much smarter she was, and how I couldn't make a move or a decision in my life without her help. By the time I reached my late 40s, early 50s, I was sick to death of hearing her crap. So one day I booted up her computer, took her to an online IQ test, booted up my own and took it to the same test and said: "Go."

She was around 90. I won't say what mine was, but it was most definitely significantly higher.

Shut her up. Finally.



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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Mon Sep 07, 2015 9:53 pm

I wonder sometimes whether parents truly understand what they are doing. In your situation, the result of the test seems to speak for itself.

I once did a similar thing with my son when he was in his early teens and was very happy that he outscored me with his 154 result; It should be every parent's hope that their offspring should be greater than they. Like yourself, I won't mention mine as this is not a dick waving contest.
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:23 am













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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Tue Sep 08, 2015 2:29 am

O must admit it didn't even occur to me to punctuate that sentence like that.

I at the last one
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:29 pm

 i just love these..







 bitchgobblet!!  oh ffs i can hardly post these for laughing...


http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/the-30-most-hilarious-autocorrect-struggles-ever#.dgLmzda5e
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:36 pm

lol.. i have tears in my eyes here..

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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:43 pm

You'll find that one in the random smiles thread.

They bring tears to my eyes as well. Imagine receiving one affraid
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:47 pm

The homo grandma has to be my favorite!

lol!
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Coolchick on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:49 pm

Your Mom wrote:You'll find that one in the random smiles thread.

They bring tears  to my eyes as well. Imagine receiving one affraid

oh ok lol

i havent read that thread.

hey your smilie is named with 2 f's lol..

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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Your Mom on Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:51 pm

There are some other crackers in there as well.
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Re: Punctuation Is Important

Post by Sarah522 on Tue Sep 08, 2015 3:34 pm











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