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Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Your Mom on Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:51 pm

Carbonised pizza recipe

Hello and welcome to Your Mom’s cooking hour. Today, we’re going to learn how to make carbonised pizza. It’s very simple and you can make it from scratch or even use a frozen pizza. Personally, I like to make my own.

If you are making your own, follow these simple instructions:

Pizza base
2 cups of all purpose flour
5 grams dried yeast
Water sufficient to make a pliable yet not wet dough.
Teaspoon salt
No kneading is necessary

Mix all ingredients together and leave in a covered container to rise. If you live in Alaska, this may take a week. If you live in Rio, this only takes a few hours.
Once risen, either roll it out to fit your pizza pan or do it by hand, I prefer to do it by hand (less mess, thus less cleaning up) and leave to rise again (see above notes).

Toppings
Here, you can choose your favourite toppings, but a tomato base is essential. This can be as simple or as gourmet as you like.
For a simple base, you can simply dilute tomato paste until it is the desired texture – thick, yet runny.

For a gourmet base, you can finely chop half a medium onion, 3 or 4 cloves of garlic and sauté until translucent. Add 7 ounces of tomato paste, a pinch of sugar, salt and oregano. Let cool before spreading evenly on your dough base.

I find finely sliced onion indispensable as well as finely sliced bell peppers, but your choice of toppings is only limited by your imagination. A lavish covering of grated mozzarella is also essential.

Pre-heat your oven and drink copious quantities of alcohol, preferably spirits, before you put the pizza in the oven,
When the oven is hot, put your pizza in the oven, be it frozen or hand made with love and care,

Drink more alcohol and pass out for at least six hours. Your carbonised pizza should now be ready.

I made one of these last night and it was perfect – for BBQ fuel, that is.



Last edited by Your Mom on Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:10 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Your Mom on Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:25 pm


The above picture is a lame representation. Mine was a true classic of fifty shades of black,
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Sarah522 on Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:03 am

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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Sarah522 on Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:09 am





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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Frigg Stuyvesant on Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:59 pm

Got the color jussssst right.. lol
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Terpentin on Mon Aug 31, 2015 4:49 pm

Your Mom wrote:
The above picture is a lame representation. Mine was a true classic of fifty shades of black,

Consider yourself lucky. I once ruined a perfectly good iron cast skillet by warming up chicken curry in it for 8 hours.
On a gas stove.

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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Your Mom on Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:03 pm

Damn, that sucks, Terps. Cast iron is my favourite cookware.
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Coolchick on Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:37 pm

Sarah522 wrote:




ooo pizza-nado!

Boom!
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by sweet on Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:50 pm

Coolchick!! Nice to see you lady!!

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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Macdougal on Tue Sep 01, 2015 3:36 am

Terp, I didn't know it was possible to kill a cast iron skillet! You should be proud.

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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Terpentin on Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:25 pm

Macdougal wrote:Terp, I didn't know it was possible to kill a cast iron skillet! You should be proud.

Well, maybe I could have tried to remove the carbonized remnants with a chisel, but I didn´t.
The former curry was burnt to the point it didn´t even smoke anymore.

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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Your Mom on Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:34 pm

Fuck, I miss curry! The gastronomy in Rio is mediocre at best and I have yet to find an Indian restaurant. The best curry I had was made by yours truly and even the ingredients for that are hard to come by. It's the little things I miss from Europe that make such a difference.
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Re: Carbonised pizza recipe

Post by Terpentin on Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:49 pm

Then you better hurry up and visit before it looks like Brazil too.
Which is in about 2 years at current pace.
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